idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
