If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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