Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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