I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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