if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
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Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't