Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.