just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best