I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize