like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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