she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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