So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
