There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
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