Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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