I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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