Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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