Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize