the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize