why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
