That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize