If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.