No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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