I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
