I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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