it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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