do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
