Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So squirting runs in the family.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
