I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize