I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize