Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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