I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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