Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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