I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
