I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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