i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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