Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
