we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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