I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
