if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize