ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
