i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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