just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize