The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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