Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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