I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize