if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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