So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He did a backflip because drugs
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
