hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize