who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize