I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you