did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize