She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
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Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?