Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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